compassion blog - part 4

Compassion believes that change begins with the heart of a child. People in poverty believe lies for many many years. That’s why we must start with the heart and mind of a child. We must pour truth over them and tell them that they are special and that God has a plan for them. Each of these children who are sponsored begin a relationship that will have an eternal impact. When a child’s life is changed, it affects the entire family, church, community, region, country, and eventually the world. The ripple effects are endless and lasting.

Compassion International is the real deal. I know my $32 a month is going directly to making a better life for my sponsored child. My life has been forever changed by Compassion, and that’s why I’m writing this blog. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve seen the children whose lives have been changed by this organization. I’ve visited the offices of Compassion and talked with the staff. I’ve held the children in the schools and sat in on their class lessons where they learn about the Love of Christ. It’s ridiculously difficult to try and sum up what Compassion is and what it’s meant to me by the use of mere words. But I knew I had to try. God has called me to be a voice for the voiceless, to speak up on behalf on children in poverty living all over the world.
As a worship leader, my life was changed when I read James 1:27 that says “Pure and undefiled worship/religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: caring for and visiting orphans and widows in their time of need.” I can no longer just sit there and watch children die in poverty. Did you know that 30,000 children a day die in poverty? It doesn’t have to be this way. We can help change the world. I believe in this so much that I am devoting as much time as I possibly can to share about Compassion.

Would you pray about changing the life of one child today? My intention is not to guilt anyone into sponsoring a child. My intention is simply to make you aware of one of the best and most successful organizations for combating poverty. Compassion is changing the world, one child at a time and you can be a part of it. You can go online at www.compassion.com and look for God’s child for you. You will not just be a sponsor who gives money. You will be so much more: a mentor who will change their life forever. A friend who will speak truth into their lives through your hand-written letters that are translated and given to the child.

Letters are huge in this sponsor-child relationship. I visited one 18 yr old girl who showed me a thick binder of every single letter she had ever received from her sponsor, who had been her sponsor for 15 years. This girl cried as she looked through all the letters and pictures that her sponsor had so faithfully sent her through the years. When I asked this young woman what she would say if her sponsor walked in the room, she busted out into tears, had to sit down, and was speechless. After finally gaining composure, she told me that she wouldn’t really know what to say. She would just hug her sponsor as tight as possible and thank her over and over again for changing her life forever. To see the gratitude on her face made me want to sponsor even more children!

The truth is, I’m addicted to sponsoring children. When I share about Compassion at a ministry event, I put the packets of the children waiting to be sponsored on my product table. Sometimes at the end of the event, there are children who have yet to be sponsored. These beautiful little ones always capture my heart. I have three children now, but if I could, I would sponsor them all!

The bottom line is this: thank you so much for reading about my heart for the ministry of Compassion International. My heart beats with joy in knowing that you might be one that God will raise up to mentor a child living in poverty overseas. Please commit these children to pray and pray that God would continue providing sponsors for these children. We think our economy is bad, but theirs is even worse. We actually have food and clothing, while most of them have nothing. Compassion provides for every aspect of the child’s life and introduces them to Jesus, who is mighty to save.

My GOAL: let's get 10 kids sponsored by February. Go to compassion.com and change a life today!

compassion blog - part 3

My favorite mission trip of all-time was when I had the opportunity to travel to the Dominican Republic with a ministry called Compassion International. What I’d heard about for years finally became a reality in my life. No longer were the children just pictured on packets. Now they were real children in need of sponsors and mentors. For years I had heard about Compassion from different people and in different concerts. I knew there were dozens of child-sponsorship programs, but for some reason Compassion stood out to me in a unique way. I began studying about Compassion and praying about whether or not the Lord would have me be a part of this ministry in some capacity.


Three years ago, I decided to sponsor my first child Clare who lives in Kenya. That was one of the best decisions of my life. At first she was just a child on a page, but little did I know that she would change my life forever. Much like Grehme, who I mentioned in my first blog, Clare’s life was changed by Love and my life was changed by her.


Three years later, I now sponsor 3 children who all live in Kenya. I literally cannot wait for the day when I get to go to Kenya and meet them all and scoop them up in my arms and spin them around. Also, I’m a Compassion International artist, which means I get to travel across the country with my music ministry and share about Compassion. Before I partnered with Compassion in ministry, I made sure that I prayed a lot about it and researched heavily. I didn’t just want to join up with any ministry. And with all the child-sponsorship programs out there, I knew I had to find the perfect fit for my ministry.

I began looking into the ministry of Compassion, whose mission is to rescue children from poverty in Jesus’ name. What’s unique about Compassion is that they go into a specific region and immediately partner with a local church. In fact, the local church is what drives the Compassion Project. This enables the children to have a spiritual foundation first and foremost. Discipleship can also thrive in this environment. Each child that is sponsored receives necessary food and clothing each day and also receives a Bible-based Christian education each day. I have seen the children and I have visited the schools. I have served food to the children for lunchtime at their Compassion projects and I assure you, this is one of the most real and legitimate ministries out there. When I went to the D.R. with Compassion, everything changed. It all became so real to me and I wanted to tell everyone about what Compassion was doing to change the world, one child at a time.

compassion blog - part 2

There she was in all her anger, lashing out at everyone around her. I noticed her instantly. She was the uncontrollable 12 yr old girl who was running throughout the classroom hitting boys in the face, wreaking havoc all over the place. I knew at that moment that she was the little Dominican girl I wanted to especially reach out to. I was instantly filled with an overwhelming sense of love for her.

The young girl’s name is Grehme and her life was changed by Love.

Grehme was full of hate when I met her and full of love when I had to leave her. The day I first saw her, she was acting out of anger and bitterness. After I saw her hit her 5th victim, I walked up to her. Wanting desperately to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I gave her a hug. I held her tight but gently. She fought my hug with all her might. As I hugged her, I repeated over and over again in Spanish that I loved her and that she was beautiful. With each sentence of truth that I spoke over her, she fought me less and less. Eventually she stopped swinging and fighting. Eventually she even settled into my hug and allowed me to hold her. Then, I felt one little hand on my lower back. Shortly thereafter, the other hand. She was hugging me back. I couldn’t believe it. The little girl, this great fighter, was hugging me back.

And thus began a changed life thanks to Love.

The rest of my time with Grehme was unforgettable. She was no longer fighting and no longer yelling or hitting anyone. She became a delightful student, ready for involvement. She wouldn’t leave my side. If I was in the vicinity, she was right next to me. She was receiving my love and loving me back. I saw a complete transformation in her life and I knew it was because she had let Love in. For a moment she let her walls down.

My favorite part of my time with Grehme was our last day together. The entire day was filled with the looming sadness of leaving one another. It was also filled with her new obsession with a doll she had brought to school that day. I’d never seen the doll before, but she was acting like it was a real baby. If anyone tried to take it from her, she would cling to her baby doll and tuck it in tight for safety. At the end of the day when the moment came for us to say our goodbyes, I finally asked about the doll. She told me that her doll’s name was Lindsey and it was her best friend. I had to fight back tears. This little girl changed my life, though I thought I would be the one having an impact on the children in the Dominican Republic.

The Giving Spirit of Christmas

in light of the recent focus of this blog on the ministry of compassion international - let's think about what Christmas is really all about. watch this video cuz it's awesome, but also because it really challenges us to re-think what we give and who we give to.

Compassion International Blog Time!!!

so there i was sitting on one of many plane rides and i started thinking about how it was time to blog about one of my greatest passions: compassion international - a ministry dedicated to rescuing children from poverty in Jesus name! where to even begin? i have no idea. there is so much i could write and so much i could say. but first, i wanted to start with a video of a guy who has stolen my heart. below is a video taken from a recent Compassion Trip with bloggers to the Dominican Republic.



and here is a letter i received yesterday from my Compassion representative, Brian Seay:

I spent the last week in the Dominican Republic leading a group of Bloggers on a trip to experience the ministry of Compassion. Each time I lead a trip I ask the Lord to guard my heart against the complacency of seeing the ministry firsthand several times a year. Not surprisingly, He has answered that prayer every time.

Last week I was reminded why we do what we do – and that’s to bring the hope of Jesus to those who have lost hope. Selfishly I want all the stories of Compassion to be success stories but I was reminded that success has to have a starting point, not just an ending crescendo. I visited a home where I met a little girl who would not smile and her mother who told us we could pray for her family but she did not believe God would ever answer those prayers. I stood there with the sponsor of this girl and the reason we believe so strongly in one-on-one sponsorship was magnified in front of us. Through huge tears this sponsor took the little girl, prayed over her, and told her she believed that God loves her and has a special plan for her life.

You can read my full take on this home visit at my blog - http://brianseay.wordpress.com/2008/11/04/the-girl-without-a-smile/ -

I followed that home visit with another one where the story of hope was further along and the parents could see real change happening in their lives and the lives of their 2 children who are sponsored. We were almost done with the visit when the 9 year old boy disappeared to another room and returned with his guitar. Immediately a concert broke out in this house – and this kid could play! We put the video of this “house concert” up on You Tube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So5qECSm4to
(this is the video from the beginning of the blog)

When you look at the faces on the packets you have with you remember that behind every photo is a story and it’s a story of hope and potential. Thanks for partnering with us in bringing hope to these children!

CHECK OUT WWW.COMPASSION.COM and pray about changing the life of a child TODAY!!!

more blogs on Compassion to come...

here's the thing about love - granny's story

my granny is one of my best friends in the whole world. when I was little, I used to go stay with her and herbie and she would let me eat icecream and mac & cheese for every meal. we would laugh and play and watch movies and old tv shows. we had the best time over gallons of pralines and cream ice-cream. she spoiled me to the Nth degree and I was most fond of her. truth is, she is the most loving person I think I’ve ever met. she loves without condition and without an agenda. her love isn’t based on what a person looks like or acts like. she simply loves. it’s who she is. and she loved me deeply for many years and continues to love me even to this day.

granny suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. she has for several years now. though she gets confused as to where she is and who people are, she still loves. she is a relentless lover and though she might not know who I am anymore, she still looks at me with those eyes. those bright blue eyes. she always saw me with her heart, and no disease will change that. she is the epitome of beauty and grace. in her life, I see the truth of the scripture that tells us that God’s power is perfected in our weakness. she is weak, yes, but she is also one of the strongest women I know. she exudes the relentless love and tenderness of Christ.

recently, she was on the phone with my dad and an unforgettable conversation took place. granny doesn’t remember names and frankly, she has forgotten a great deal about life and reality. but sometimes she’ll have moments of clarity which show the vitality of her spirit. though her mind and body are weakening daily, she is being renewed inwardly and her spirit refreshed. the other day, my dad was talking to granny about various and sundry things, mostly unrelated to one another, and then it happened. the moment of clarity. granny all the sudden began speaking with such conviction and grace. she said, “I love God so much. I love Him so much. you know, I used to love a man who didn’t know God. But I know God and I love Him so much. And I know He loves me. and He is good. God has always been so good to me throughout my entire life. And I know that God loves me and that He is good.”

when my dad told me about this, I couldn’t hold back the tears. it was proof that a person’s spirit can be fully aware whose spirit is home to Jesus. with everything she doesn’t know anymore, she still knows the most important things in life: that God loves her and that He is good.

to me, this is what it all comes down to. if we don’t truly believe that God loves us, how can we love ourselves? and if we don’t love ourselves, how can we love others? for we know the Lord says to love one another as we love ourselves. and if we don’t ultimately believe God is good, how will we survive? our only means of survival is His goodness and sovereignty; knowing that He is always working everything together for our ultimate good and His ultimate glory. and my granny, old and gray and suffering from a debilitating disease knows the secret of contentment in this life: that God is good and that He loves us.

wow. deep breath. I still can’t get over this. what a revelation and what a beautiful thing to know, that my granny still knows the Truth and the Love of Christ no matter what.

ride em' cowboy

i just had to post this recent video of gabby wearing her newest accessory.

the tale of two devotionals

so there i was thinking of randomness and my thoughts turned into these two devotionals:

NEVER THE SAME AGAIN

One of the hardest things for me in my Christian life is when I feel and act like I used to before I became a Christ-follower. Sure, I have Jesus living inside me, but sometimes I still act like a complete moron. I worry about things I cant control, I fear things that shouldn’t have a hold over me, and I let my flesh run wild. I was hoping that once I asked Jesus to come into my life and be my Savior and Lord that I would automatically start acting like Him. But for those of you reading this who have been a Christian for longer than 2 seconds – you know it’s not quite that easy. One night in college I had reached the end of my proverbial rope. I was completely wrought with anxiety and fear. It was as if I couldn’t make myself surrender to the Lord. That was mostly because I couldn’t even find Him or hear Him in my small, dark dorm room. Instead of wallowing in self-pity as is my usual custom, I decided to write down my endless thoughts. I grabbed a sheet of paper and started writing furiously. My pen couldn’t keep up. All the sudden my head started lifting. My heart started beating a little smoother. I was able to finally catch my breath. In that moment, as I was writing and trying to get it all out, I felt Christ embrace me. I sat there dumbfounded, simply letting Him hold and love me. I didn’t want to leave. I picked up my guitar and started singing the words I had written down. I realized I had been changed after spending those few moments with my Prince of Peace. I felt totally different. Though I still had my flesh and my tendency to worry, I knew I had been transformed in that moment. I would never be the same again. I realized He hadn’t just performed a one-time change when I gave my life to Him, but He continues to change me daily as I meet with Him. Each day is new and each day I have the opportunity to allow Christ to make the old new.

WHERE IS THE LOVE?

I’ve noticed a trend recently: people are having love issues. About a month ago I was on a long flight and found myself thinking about love. Not the kind that makes me want a boyfriend, but the kind that makes me want Jesus. Suddenly I was flooded with thoughts of God, others, myself, and the mysterious idea of love. What is love? Where is it? Who is it? Why do people love? Why don’t they? Jesus quickly began answering my questions. We’ve heard it said that God is Love. He can’t help but love us. He can’t not love. His love doesn’t change based on what we do or don’t do. His love is not dependent on our performance. He just loves. That’s His nature and it’s more natural to Him than breathing is to us. Then I started thinking about why some Christians have love issues. That thought led me to this one: Why do certain people have problems with Christians, but rarely do they say anything negative about Jesus? I guess it’s because sometimes Christians fail to love. I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when I simply do not love others. We need to get back to that good ole’ saying of “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.” But before we can love others, we must first love ourselves. After all, it was Jesus who gave us the idea of loving others as we love ourselves. Then and only then can we love another human being. The problem is, there are many people who don’t love themselves and for whatever reason, they never have. The conclusion to my thinking was this: our ability to love others rests in our ability to love ourselves. Our ability to love ourselves rests in our ability to receive God’s unconditional love. It seems that it really is all about receiving the love of God. We, as Christ-followers must start loving others without condition and without an agenda. Let’s love for the sake of being like God who is, in His very nature, Love. For the love of God, receive it! Without love, we have nothing and we are nothing.

He Knows - story behind the song

SO sorry i haven't blogged in forever! that should give you some indication with how crazy my life has been. but no worries, i've learned how to say "no" and also how to delegate ministry tasks, thus my time will be freed up. here's a new post about the story behind a song i wrote called "he knows" - will be writing more, i promise :)

"He Knows"

I love my job. I think I might just have the best job in the world. Because the truth is, it’s not really even a job. I get to do what I love and what I’ve been called and created to do for a living. I get to travel across the country and occasionally the world and share the message and hope of Christ through music. Because I’m a worship leader, I get to lead for all different kinds of churches in all different kinds of places. However, one of my favorite things to do is to attend church services without leading. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE getting to do ministry at services, but rarely do I get to just sit in the congregation and sing in the background without being on stage. No one listening and no one watching. Just me singing on the back row. So when I do have the opportunity to attend, it’s special and refreshing. One particular Sunday morning I went to The Village Church in Dallas, TX. I had heard great things about this church and some of my friends went there, but I’d never had the chance to check it out for myself. For some odd reason (or God’s sovereignty), I had an open Sunday and I was in the Dallas area, so I went to visit. The time of worship through song was incredible and the message was amazing, as well. The pastor Matt Chandler was dynamic and definitely the kind of guy I could listen to for 45 minutes despite my major a.d.d tendencies.

He began preaching out of Hebrews 4 and instantly I was hooked and locked in. He began talking about how Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses. He deconstructed the passage verse by verse and made a compelling case for the reality of the closeness of Immanuel. The first part of the passage goes like this: “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God who was tempted in every way as we are, yet was without sin.” I was so encouraged by the message because I have many weaknesses and at that time in my life I was feeling like I was alone in what I was going through. So often I get caught up in thinking I need to be strong and keep up the spiritual giant façade, despite my internal sufferings and struggles. But the truth is, that God’s power is perfected in our weakness, not our strength. I felt like God was speaking directly to me through the message. In the midst of trying to write down every word he said, I began to notice a song rising up in me. I was kind of bummed because I didn’t want to be distracted from the message, but God had other plans. Turns out His plans are way better anyway.

Then the pastor said something that hit me like a 2x4: “No matter how dark the trail goes, Jesus knows.” I heard the rhyme and I immediately had a melody and lyric in my head. I tried to shake it at first so I could continue focusing on his message, but it got the better of me. Unfortunately, when I get song ideas in the middle of sermons I have to pause my brain from listening to the rest of the message and I have to get out what’s in my head, otherwise I might lose it forever. So I began feverishly jotting down the lyrical thoughts that God was bringing to my mind on the church bulletin paper thingy. All I kept hearing over and over again was, “No matter how deep and dark the trail goes, He knows. No matter how lonely, lost and low, He knows.” The words were coming out fast and all I wanted was to sit down right then and there with my guitar or piano and write the song. But that definitely would’ve been awkward to walk up on stage and say, “Hang on Matt, I am enjoying your sermon and all but I need to write a song real quick. I just need about 30 seconds.” So I decided to hold it together and stay in my seat until the service was over.

As soon as people started filing out of the building, I went up to the stage and sat down at a beautiful baby grand piano (assuming I had divine permission, I suppose). The tune and melody came almost as quickly as the lyrics. It was as if the song had been completely handed to me, in full, from the Lord. I immediately connected with the lyrics because they so closely represented what I had been going through in that particular season in my life. The Lord was taking me through a beautiful transformation where He was showing me that I was not alone and had never been alone.

When I got the lyrics and melody down, I left the church and immediately started performing this new song at concerts and other ministry events. Eventually, I was able to record it on my latest project. The Lord even provided a way for me to record a music video for the song, which was hilariously fun and out of my comfort zone. It turned out to be an excellent ministry tool, but talk about weakness, I am so not a rockstar or a diva, so making music videos is not my gifting. Plus, in the video, I have on way too much lipstick. I was told it would be necessary because of the camera and lighting and such. But here’s the thing about me: I would rather eat glass chips than wear lipstick. I enjoy a simple gloss, but I digress…

So in my personal relationship with Him, the Lord kept teaching me the importance of weakness and surrender. He was growing deep inside me the passion for authenticity. For too long, I had been fake. I tried to be someone I wasn’t, and it was exhausting. I always thought since I was in full-time ministry that I had to act like I had it all together. I thought I had to be all super-spiritual. But then I realized that God never called us to be strong in our own strength. He called us to be real in our weaknesses. In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he tells us that God’s power is actually perfected in our weaknesses, because when we are weak, HE is strong and HE gets all the glory due His name. I wanted so badly to boast in my weakness, though I had no idea what that really looked like in reality. I realized that even when I feel like no one else understands what I’m going through, Jesus knows. Even when my parents and closest friends can’t completely sympathize with me, Jesus can. He knows the ins and outs of every bit of pain and He is intimately concerned about every detail of my life. He’s been there. He knows pain. He felt the deepest of pain on the cross. He knows triumph. He felt the victory when He rose from the dead. He knows hope in the midst of adversity. He is the one who for the joy and hope set before Him, endured the cross. He knows humility. He is the King of Kings born in a feeding trough. And He knows love. He is the Unconditional Lover who first loved us and taught us how to love.

The bottom line is that Jesus knows. Right now, on this day, as you’re reading this, God knows exactly what’s going on. He is the Alpha and Omega of all things and He sees the beginning and end of your particular situation. He already knows how He’s going to get you through this pain and He knows what you’re going through. He is the God who grieves with you. He is the Savior who sympathizes. He is the King who cares deeply for you. He is the Healer who will hold you broken heart and give you a new, whole one. May we never forget that Jesus sympathizes with all of our weaknesses, trials and pain. I love the advice and encouragement found at the end of Hebrews 4: “Therefore, let us draw near to the throne of grace with confidence so that we might find mercy and help in our time of need.” So often, we tend to run away from God when hardships come. Think of Adam and Eve. The first thing they did when they realized they had sinned was to take off running. Of course, God knew where they were the whole time, but they tried to run from Him. They went and hid. But God is calling us to come out of hiding. He is calling us to run toward Him instead of away from Him, no matter what the cause of running might be. We can throw ourselves on His throne for His is safe and trustworthy. He loves without condition and His love doesn’t change based on what we do or don’t do. When the valleys gets deeper and the roads get bumpier, that’s the time when we should run as fast as we can to the Lord for He Himself is our Peace. And when we meet with Him in that secret place, He will remind us that He is in the process of working all things (the good, the bad, and the ugly) together for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

We all have times of need. We are all in need of mercy and help. Instead of running away from the Lord in our toughest of times, let’s run to Him. I wrote this song as an encouragement to people who feel like they’re all alone and that no one knows what they’re truly going through. Take heart, He knows. He’s been there and He’s there with you now. He’s holding you and He’s ready to meet you where you are.

smelly cat

so there i was today trying to clean out some stuff to make my computer run faster (as if i have any real idea how to go about doing that), and i found a fabulous video of a little friend of mine. i just had to share. here's what happens when you teach things to little kids. you don't think they'll remember or glean from your wisdom, but they do. this little gal asked me to sing and teach her a song, so i did. and here is the result:

award winning, dont you think?

Modern day loaves and fishes story

so there i was this morning driving to the river 102.3 radio station to have a meeting with gary, the cool morning dude to talk about filling in some as a co-host. before i went to the station, i stopped by the post office to mail something.

when i came out of the post office, there was a sweet young gal leaning up against the wall. she asked me very kindly if i had a dollar i could give her. one of my problems is that i never carry cash. only credit and checks. so i stopped and explained to her of my financial mismanagement and unpreparedness. she understood, but i knew in that moment that God's heart was totally for her so i couldn't just walk away. i decided, well, i dont have a dollar, but i have ears and maybe she needs someone to talk to. (disclaimer: dont think i'm super mother theresa/spiritual person because normally i'm very selfish and oblivious to the needs of others... i dont want this blog to be a "hey look at me" piece, if you catch my drift) 

so i stop and talk to her. i asked her where she lived and her response confirmed her homelessness. as you read this, remember: Jesus was homeless. for we know He had nowhere to lay His head. and, though He was the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, He was born in a feeding trough. manger is too sweet. it was a feeding trough. 

i asked her if she was hungry, and she said yes. she was very sweet and very shy. you could tell she was uncomfortable with having to beg. turns out she doesn't work anywhere but is looking for a job and just finished high school. after talking a bit more with her, i told her to wait there and i'd be back with some food. 

so i go to the river for my appointment and after i talk with gary, he takes me to the break room where Rudy's bbq joint has left tons of bags of breakfast tacos. he offered me some food and i wasn't hungry but i was thinking of post office gal. so i told him about her and he told me to take a whole bag which was filled with yummy treats.

with my bag-o-food in tow, i headed back to the mecca of mail. but she wasn't there. i parked and looked and searched, but she wasn't there. at first i was so sad, because i really felt the Lord wanted to feed her with these tacos. and i was really looking forward to getting to know her better. but she was gone. i was so sad because i was too late.

oh, but God's timing is perfect dont you know?

so as i'm sulking and feeling sorry for myself and the girl, i look over to my right and there is a group of about 10 homeless people all sitting in a group beside the road and next to the post office. 

i was speechless, to say the least. and as i saw them, our eyes locked and all i could think of was when Jesus said, "What you've done unto the least of these, you've done unto Me. When I was hungry, you gave Me something to eat..." so i walk over to them. they looked a little suspicious, because they probably thought i was going to through a bunch of tracks at them. lots of homeless people are used to being preached at but not provided for. they're used to being handed tracks, but not food and love. maybe some change here and there, but not the knowledge of how Love can change.

i asked them if they were hungry and suddenly 10 people became 15 people. they seemed to multiply and i thought, "crud, i dont have enough tacos for all these people." each person i met said they wanted a taco. well, except for one man. he declined my offer because he said we was on the food stamp program and wanted me to save that taco for someone who was really in need. that took me by surprise. how beautiful. he is on food stamps and wanted to save the food for someone who is really hungry.

i met each person, shook their beat-up wrinkled hands, and handed them a taco. when i got to the last few people i was certain i was running out. but lo and behold, God pulled a fast one on me. He did it old school, like back in the old days of the new testament when Jesus fed the 5000 with a kid's sack lunch.

i promise you, these burritos kept multiplying. it was amazing. i had enough for everyone and even extras for their friends. people kept coming and burritos kept appearing. 

they're response was beautiful. they were so grateful. i must admit, i used to look at homeless people and think, "go get a job. why are you begging when you could go work and get some money?" i had very little compassion. i figured they needed to help themselves. but when i think about Jesus, He never gave or loved based on other people's actions or abilities. He simply gave, shared, cared, and loved. He love wasn't dependent on what the person did. i doubt Jesus walked through the towns and only loved people He thought were worthy of love. He didn't give to people who deserved it. think of the cross. we didn't deserve any of that grace and mercy. but He gave it anyway.

so my challenge to you and myself is this: love without an agenda. try not to think of whether or not the homeless person deserves your love and care. sure maybe they aren't legit. maybe they are begging and maybe they can get a job. but they're still in need and they are considered the "least of these." so let's love them. be aware, care, and share whatever you have been given to share. in my case it was breakfast, but in your case it might be a smile, handshake, or "how are you?" just something to make them feel human and worthy of love. 

so like i said, they're responses were amazing. one guy offered me a pair of silver hoop earrings to express his gratitude. another older man said we'd make a cute couple and he asked me out on a date. i told him thanks and that he was the first date proposal i'd had since walking on the pyramids in egypt. (i live a very strange, unique life) and then another guy was totally a Christ-filled man. he started preaching, telling me about the power of God through Jesus Christ. he was quoting scripture left and right, giving God glory for how He's provided. 

before i left i asked them of their needs. water, food, anything? they simply said, well, we dont eat much so just come by ever so often and say hello and maybe give us a snack. 

we all want to be loved.  so... LOVE. 

it wins. 

Sudanese Refugee Church

If you're not familiar with the current situation in the Sudan, please educate yourself and make yourself aware of what's been going on. In short, the Sudanese government has been responsible for widespread genocide. Some estimates report that over 400,000 people have been killed, 2.5 million people displaced, and many more injured. This horrendous situation has caused many Sudanese people to relocate. Many of them have relocated to Egypt. My favorite part of the trip, as i said in an earlier post, was when our team got to go to a Sudanese refugee church. I had the opportunity to lead worship and it was one of the most humbling and surreal worship times i've ever been a part of. here is a video that someone recorded. as you watch it, think of how amazing it is that after all they've been through, these beautiful children of God still choose to come to church and worship God, amidst all the pain and suffering. We were able to sing "Hallelujah" together and i caught a glimpse of heaven. more to come later, on the sitaution in darfur and what we can do to help. but for now, i've been a blogging queen today, so i'll give you all a break! p.s. - the very high pitched screaming noise you'll hear is a coming noise that the people of Sudan make. at first, it caught us off guard, but then we ended up loving it. and at one point, i even attempted to mimic it, which the sudanese loved. we all had a good laugh. this is proof that joy is so not based on circumstances.

random egyptian sightings

here are some pictures from different things i found odd, random, or interesting

in a city with no traffic laws or anyone to enforce traffic laws, somehow we were the only car that ended up with a boot on it... luckily our "bodyguard" commanded someone to take it off. and i got in trouble for taking a picture. dictatorships are brutal.

no one in cairo seemed to carry anything with their hands. when in doubt, put it on your head. i tried to balance my camera on my head and i couldn't even do that. it almost fell and broke and i would've lost everything. but this lady makes it look easy.

just in case you want to work out, there is a gold's gym on the Nile river. think of moses floating down the Nile, stopping at golds to do some power clings. 

egypt stores are filled with the strangest and weirdest manikins. they were downright scary. like this woman who looked like she'd been beaten over the head with an ugly stick. and why wont someone fix her glasses?

you've seen many drug dogs i'm sure. beagles, german shepherds, dobermans, and other canines. but this was the very first drug dog i've seen that was a golden retriever. i have a golden, as i'm sure you all know because i blog about her quite often, and i can tell you for sure that this breed will not bust anyone. they will befriend the drug pusher and lick the person holding the drugs. i wondered at the success of this sweet golden retriever. it was like God was giving me a gabby-like dog to satisfy my need for loving on a golden.

apparently frito lay chips, other snacks and yes, even cars

and on these cars, people have zip tied their hubcaps to the wheels

this man was watering a pile of dirt while his friends looked alongside

this man is on a camel, yes, in the middle of the desert, and he is on his cell phone. i was thinking, "wow, those roaming charges must be crazy!" 

our "bodyguard" - more on this later - had the longest crack nail i've ever seen. and he totally busted me on taking a picture of the alleged nail. 

egypt experience (girls orphanage)

in addition to visiting and worshipping with the sudanese refugee church, another one of my favorite times in cairo was our trip to the girls' orphanage. i love love love orphans and they have always occupied a special place in my heart. after all, James 1:27 tells us that pure and undefiled religion (worship) is visiting orphans and widows in their time of need. so it was incredible to get to take part in what God calls pure and undefiled worship. especially me being a "worship leader." i really felt like i was leading true worship as i sang for these beautiful gals. i could see the princess in each of them, even if society had tossed them aside. i could see the reflection of Christ in each one. when we got to the orphanage, the gals were a little intimidated by us. every girl i walked up to ran from me! which broke my heart because all i wanted to do was love on them. so finally, after like the 5th girl ran from me (apparently i was wearing an "i'm a scary american" tshirt or something) i decided to sit down at a table and simply pray. i was like, "God, hell-o, you know all i want to do is love on these gals so please provide one or two for me to pour out Your love onto!" before my prayer was even over, a little girl came up very confidently and sat down right next to me at the table. she tapped me on the shoulder, smiled, and matter-of-factly said, "i love you." it was the sweetest sound to my ears. the broken english of an egyptian orphan telling me that she loved me! it was like God turned the tables and showed me a glimpse of His love for me. and that this trip wouldn't just be about what i did for people, but what they did for me, as well. i was ministered to, sometimes even more than i ministered. here's a pic of my sweet new friend making a silly face at me when i started rapping in english. they got a big kick out of that. 

after singing Titanic 9 times, literally and i exaggerate not, i sat down next to the gal who kept requesting that i sing "my heart will go on" - of which i know like one verse to. but i couldn't disappoint her. i would sing it and she would say "again" so i took about 30 minutes singing the same song. and they couldn't get enough of it! so, celine, your presence and influence extends even to egypt. after i performed the celine dion side concert, this sweet girl offered to paint my nails. there are two things that i never do: 1. get my nails painted and 2. run unless i'm being chased. but i felt like i should definitely let her. it was her way to love on me. so i sat down and she got out her professional kit of manicure stuff and she gave me the works: french manicure with a heart and cross and every other finger. it was actually a very nice looking manicure. and it was so interesting, for once, to hear arabic instead of an asian dialect when getting my nails done. i always love getting my toes done at the asian place near my house. by the way, if you want a good laugh today, check out this hilarious youtube.com video from comedian anjelah johnson. just search youtube.com for "nail salon - anjelah johnson - comedy time"

here's another picture of me and my sweet friend who said "i love you"... isn't she adorable? my favorite part was that i think i had that tshirt in elementary school back in the 80s. small world! 

to the girls at the orphanage: near, far, wherever you are... my heart will go on

egypt experience part 1

just got back from my mission trip to egypt monday night! sorry its taken me so long to get on the stick with blogging. i know some of you have been waiting patiently for an update! so i've decided instead of writing one big long huge blog about the entire 10 days, i'll just split up some significant moments and experiences in several different blogs! so stay tuned for numerous blogs on the subject of my mission trip to cairo! it was an amazing time and part of me is still in cairo with all the people we came in contact with. i absolutely loved the church i got to go with: indian river city UMC out of titusville, FL. i cherish my relationship with this church and it shows me how much God cares about relationships. me and irc have done many events and there are many more to come! here's a pic of the whole team in front of one of the pyramids!

each day we did something different, and each day was filled with its own incredible experiences. one day we went to a christian discipleship school where we got to fellowship with some other Christians who were attending this 10 day discipleship program. these people were amazing and it was so refreshing to spend time with other believers who are extremely different yet we all have the same God. praise and worship time with them wasn't too different than in the states. they had a keyboard, worship leader, and powerpoint slides. i felt right at home. though i didn't understand any word besides "hallelujah" in their songs, i could still worship alongside them. here's a pic of me and jenny and some gals at the discipleship school. they were adorable and we played games all day.

one day was tourist day. we went to see the pyramids and the sphinx. it was surreal to actually walk on the pyramids that i'd read about and studied about. well, mostly in school i slept during history so i didn't remember alot about egyptian history, but i was still completely enthused by what i saw. the rich history was enthralling. since i was a history major in college, people kept asking me questions. but i dont really retain alot of info, so i made up answers. no one bought it. i did get proposed to while touring the pyramids though. that was entertaining. i said no. i'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment. also, at the pyramids, i had to pay to use the restroom. ridiculous? i thought so too. 
one night me and the team travelled to a garbage dump community. it's called "dump city." we attended a church service with an orthodox coptic church in this community. the guys and girls have to worship separately, so the first night i performed a concert for the guys. the church was packed and i was so surprised that the guys actually listened. i had a translator, so basically i would share about what each song was about and then i would share the lyrics and that would be translated and then i would sing the song. talk about difficulty for someone like me with adhd. having to say one sentence, then wait for it to be translated, and then say another sentence. it requires tons of amounts of concentration, which God so graciously gave me. the concert ended up being awesome. except i was about to read eph. 2:8 about how salvation is by grace along. and then my translator informed me that i couldn't read that verse, because this denomination doesn't believe in salvation by grace, but by works. it was so strange to have my own personal filter there with me! i wish i had one for american concerts because who knows what i'll say sometimes. so i'm glad he was there to tell me what not to say, because apparently i would've caused a big commotion if i would've read that verse. here's a pic of me and some of the dump city cave church dudes. each one of them recorded the entire concert with their cell phones. everyone in egypt has cell phones, it seems. no matter what conditions they live in. 

my favorite part of the entire trip was getting to lead worship at a sudanese refugee church. i will go into more detail about this in my other blogs, but suffice it to say it was an unforgettable and overwhelming experience to be able to worship alongside people who have experienced so much pain lately. the members of this church were people who used to live in the sudan, but have been displaced along with millions of others because of the genocide in the sudan and darfur especially. i couldn't imagine what these people must have been through to even come to church. they came from tons of miles away and relocated to a region unfamiliar to them. they lost so much. who knows how many people they saw killed and who knows how many of their villages were burned and pillaged. yet, they still came to church to worship. and worship they did! wow. it was beautiful. in the midst of such pain and persecution, they were able to lift their voices in spirit and truth worship. we couldn't understand any of their songs, but we didn't need to. we saw their faces and their smiles and their hearts. we felt the Spirit and He was all throughout that church. i am convinced that the church is most powerful when it is filled with people who are real with their brokenness and pain. what an honor it was to lead these beautiful people in a couple of songs in worship. i had to think of so many other things, just to keep from completely losing it and ugly-crying. 

more info to come! but this will have to do for now... ya know, just to wet your pallet. 

scary blood pressure man

so there i was at HEB getting some groceries when i walked down a toiletry aisle. it was the same aisle as occupied by the people who sit in those chairs and stick their arms in the tube thingee that tightens your arm to get your blood pressure reading.

i hate those things because they always hurt my arm and i dont enjoy feeling my heart beat in my upper arm. it's also awkward because people stare at you. but i didn't pay any attention to it because i was there for my mission: toilet paper.

but then i hear a voice from an older gentlemen who actually looked alot like the dude in this picture. minus the tape side-burns. not really sure what that's all about. and i'm pretty sure he didn't have a pocket protector. anyway... out of no where i hear, "hey lady! you're messing up my blood pressure reading!"

i look around, hoping desperately he's not talking to me. but i was the only one around. it was as if everyone at that moment had been raptured, and i was left behind with blood pressure man. so he's clearly talking to me. i look at him and confusingly say, "excuse me?"

he says again, but louder, "you're messing up my blood pressure reading! it's not accurate!"

then finally i begin to realize this is maybe a horrible excuse for a compliment. 

so i say politely, "and why is that sir? why am i messing up the reading?" - and by this i really meant to say (but i kept it inside thanks to my filter): "broseph, if you're hitting on me, you've got another thing coming. at least stand up and get your arm out of that tight tube and face me like a real man" but i didn't say all that. i sheepishly retreated deeper into the toilet paper aisle. 

but he answered my question, with a very bazaar answer:

"welp, it's cuz you're just so handsome." in my mind i'm thinking, really? handsome? no, because dr. mcdreamy is handsome. i am... well... at least call me pretty! i'm a woman for God's sake! 

but the word kept ringing in my ear. handsome. really? i mean, i know i'm wearing a tshirt and my make-up is from this morning and i didn't straighten my hair, but handsome? at least say pretty!

luckily at that time, my dad walks up. (sidenote: me, mom and dad had a dinner/movie date tonight... normally i dont grocery shop with my parents, i'm just saying...)

so i tell the man, "yeah, you probably shouldn't say stuff like that especially in front of my father." and the man looks puzzled but didn't skip a beat and answered, while turning blue because i think he forgot to turn the stupid machine off, "oh! that's your dad? i thought that was your brother!"

i mean really, dude, are you planning on hitting on the whole family? 

then mom walks up and he says, "oh and i guess this is your sister!"

mom, dad, and me quickly grabbed the toilet paper and ran as far away from scary blood pressure man as possible. it was definitely one of those memorable family moments. one for the scrapbook. 

seriously? who does that? what have we learned here people:

1. don't use those blood pressure machines, they're scary and they eat your arm

2. if you do use said machine, don't stalk the girl in the aisle next you

3. don't call a girl handsome. it's just rude

4. don't flirt with the girl's parents when your flirting attempts with her fail miserably

5. buy toilet paper at sams. they dont have those horrible machines.

Wife-carrying contest?

so there i was perusing the news today and i thought to myself, "maybe THIS why i'm still single." 

for those new to the blog world, the idea is to click on the word "THIS" and it'll take you to the link i'm referring to :) always glad to help.

and now that you've seen the video, hopefully you see what i mean. who in their right mind would succumb themselves to such a potential fiasco? not i. i'll stay single thanks. 

walk like an egyptian

that was my absolute favorite song from my childhood. every time it would come on the radio, i would have to stop whatever i was doing and start dancing. i am definitely a child of the 80s. even if i was in the car, i would ask mom to stop the car and let me out to dance. almost like chinese fire drill team. but, one thing you need to know about me is that i'm a horrible dancer. and i had to be in dance class when i was a little girl. ballet, tap, jazz. the whole nine. i hated ballet. i would rather eat glass chips than be in ballet. tap wasn't good either because my taps were never taps, they were more like thuds. and jazz was ok, but i had to wear lipstick, so i didn't like that at all. i was miserable. much like this little girl.

so i quit dance as fast as humanly possible. much to my brother's excitement because he was forced to sit through 3 hour long dance recitals just to watch me for 30 seconds look miserable on stage wearing a leotard that no human should ever be forced to wear.

i thought i was freed from my dancing woes, but then i got into my senior year of college and realized that i need one more kinesiology credit. i thought, no prob. i'll do anything. basketball, power walking, underwater basket weaving, whatever. but guess what class was the ONLY one that was open? intro to ballet. 

leotard required. 

i was devastated. but i had to do it. so i did it. i stuck out like a sore thumb. i was the girl who walked like a basketball player among little graceful girls who walked lightly. my teacher kept yelling at me: lindsey, walk lightly. i would respond with anger "these feet are incapable of walking lightly." anyway, i almost failed the class, but because i put alot of heart and effort into it, i came out with a C. 

i would even practice my moves for hours in a great hall with wood floors. i was still horrible. no amount of practice would reverse the fact that i was like a giant elephant in a china cabinet.

so why am i telling you all this? well, the one dance i loved when i was a little lassie, was when i got to dance to my favorite song walk like an egyptian. i owned that dance. or at least it felt like i owned it. i was probably a disgrace to the entire dance community, but i felt good about my performance. 

well guess what? i will be walking like an egyptian again! yup, that's right! i'm headed to egypt this friday and i'll be there until the 21st and i couldn't be more excited! i will definitely blog all about my experiences, so stay tuned. but for now, i'll just tell you about the awesome things i'll get to do while i'm there!

lead worship, give a concert in english where everyone might blankly stare at me because they mostly only know arabic, tour the nile river, enjoy sweet fellowship with believers in cairo, hang out with university students at a youth conference, visit the biggest evangelical church in the middle east, visit the oldest mosque in the islamic world, visit the pyramids and the sphinx, and my favorite part: ministry to the kids in the orphanage, as well as painting a garbage dump community, shopping in the old market of khan al khalily, stopping by paris on a layover, 20 hours on a plane to contemplate life and why clouds exist, and finally, attending a sudanese refugee meeting. 

wow. i can't wait! if you think about it, you can pray for me and the team as we walk like egyptians, and more importantly walk like Jesus. 

"You're kinda weird" - Stephen Baldwin referring to me

so there i was just this morning co-hosting The River 102.3 morning show with heather. in walks stephen baldwin, who i knew was coming in for an interview after me. he was there promoting an amazing event that's happening this saturday in austin with extreme sports and evangelism. 

though ashamed, i thankfully have only gotten star struck with sandra bullock. so i was excited i didn't get star struck with stephen. so i'm sitting there just chillin and letting him talk about the event, realizing i'm not cool enough to be a part of this particular radio experience. so, like a middle school shy girl, i sulked back to the corner of the room, letting him do his thang. 

i actually enjoyed spectating and watching everything. and stephen was totally nice and cool. very ecclectic and passionate! and he used my favorite word: "authenticity" so instantly i liked him. i mean, look at that face, how can you not like him? especially with that cute hate on.

we met and he was sweet and we got a picture together. normally i dont ask for pictures with famous people, but i couldnt resist. he's got that cool hollywood star pose. here's me trying to imitate the pose. i think i failed miserably. 

then randy phillips encourages me to give him a CD, which of course i didn't have. i stopped carrying CDs in my purse a long time ago. but i gave him a card and then heather told stephen about my showcase concert this friday night and he politely seemed interested. he even said he was going to try to come. to which my response was, "ya right, you have so many better things to do!" but the fact that he said he would try to come was cute and endearing. i can assure you stephen probably has better things to do than go to my concert! but who knows. stranger things have happened. c'mon stephen! if you come, i'll give you a free cd!

but here's where it gets good:

he leaves the studio and i realize he's left his energy shot drink. i thought, "well, i could run after him and give him his energy shot and risk him thinking i'm a crazy stalker fan... or i could just play the 'finders keepers losers weepers' game and keep the energy drink. who knows, maybe i can sell it on ebay?" in my lapse of judgement, i chose to take the energy shot and stick it in my lunch bag right next to my turkey wrap and peach. i stinkin' love peaches. i felt no remorse for stealing his energy drink... until... me and heather and jenny are laughing and having a good time and in walks mr. baldwin... looking for something.

desperately looking for something. i knew that "something" was deep down in my bag. 

i know exactly what he's looking for: his favorite energy drink shot. heather yells, "you're so busted!" thanks heather. and then i yelled out of sheer conviction "i stole your shot!" sweetly he forgives me and then offers it to me and i'm red as a stop sign at this point. i refuse the drink i just stole. he turns to me and says, "ya know, you're kinda weird. i like weird. i'm gonna come to your concert." i say, "ya right, i wont hold my breath stevo." well, i didn't call him stevo but i wanted to in retrospect. and he said, "ya wanna bet?" and i said "no, i dont want you to lose your money." we'll see :) but i wont be holding my breath. 

back to his comment: amen stephen about my weirdness. you hit the nail on the proverbial head. you are correct sir. i am weird. and i have this apparent problem of stealing from celebrities with the initials "SB". go back and check my blog about when i stole from sandra bullock.

maybe i'll make a trifecta out of it. who will be my third celebrity SB that i'll accidentally steal from? 

what a coincidence!

so there i was at the gas pump the other day, which i frequently visit these days, unfortunately! summers are crazy and require me to drive miles upon miles and then more miles. i even drove 7 hours to a camp last week! good thing i just had XM radio installed for my bday. otherwise, it could've gotten ugly. i might have even started hallucinating flying camels basket-weaving or something crazy like that. 

i have this obsession, or challenge really, where i love to fill my car up and try and make the dollars be exactly to the whole number. meaning, i don't like 100.50, i will try and get it to stop at 100 and so on. but no matter how hard i try, i can't ever get it. it's always like 1 cent over. it's very damaging to my sense of accomplishment.

but i keep trying and everytime i get a little closer, which gives me hope. 

but then last month, i finally hit the jackpot. i was half-way expecting gold coins to pour out of the pump as well. i stopped randomly (without even trying) on $75. i thought, WOW! that was amazing. i wasn't even trying and it stopped right on the money, literally. so i drove off, patting myself on the back for my amazing feat. 

then about 3 days later i filled up again. and much to my surprise, it was $75 again! what? are you kidding me! i thought, this is too crazy, this is amazing! after 10 years of trying to get the pump right down to the penny on .00, i get exactly $75 two times in a row! i figured God's favor was just with me. i thought, what a coincidence!

then, 3 days later i go to fill up again. yep, you guessed it. $75 again! in my stupidity, i actually thought "WOW! this is amazing!" and then it dawned on me that the odds of that actually happening for like the odds of me marrying mel gibson. so i sat down, perplexed in my car, and a little depressed that i'd already filled up 3 times in one week... and i realized that it wasn't a coincidence! i'm actually an idiot! the pump is automatically shutting off at $75. 

no wonder my car never got filled up the whole way. for some reason, i just kept missing it. then i thought, wow, you know gas prices are bad when you can't even fill your car up all the way. ouch, cutting me off at $75 each time i fill up the ol' car. i keep thinking, if only i could sell my car. but its the only car that's big enough to haul around all my music stuff! 

is anyone out there trying to get a car to run off coffee? because i sure function great off coffee.

pilates/yoga background vocals

so there i was... in pain, in utter embarrassment, in disbelief. why was i there? why was i allowing someone to tell me how to twist my body in ways it was never intended to twist? was this a modern day twister game for adults? why does everyone else say this is so great and why does no one else look like they're about to die from sheer pain and discomfort.

i went to a yoga/pilates class today.

i even went to target and bought a yoga mat. as if i even knew what one looked like. i asked someone and they took me on a tour of the yoga aisle. i picked out the cheapest one and headed to the check out counter. i felt so cool. until i actually went to the class.

one of the worst decisions of my life. i've always liked the idea of yoga. it's alot like running. i so long to run but i can't and it just plain hurts. in fact, i don't run unless i'm being chased. so i decided, well maybe i'll try yoga. how hard can it really be? sure, i can't touch my toes, but oh well! i'll probably be good at it.

no, i'm horrible. i was the worst in the class. for the betterment of everyone's life, the instructor should've kicked me out. not only did i look like an awkward ape trapped in a tennis ball, but my face winced in pain with each new position. down dog? really? more like ouch dog. more like "where is the basketball court? why am i trying to touch my nose to my heels?" 

then she asked us to do a back bend. ya right. i elected not to tell her that i was basically asked to leave gymnastics when i was younger because i was the only kid in the class that couldn't master the back bend. all the memories came rushing back. my eyes welled up with tears. not because of the awful memories, but because literally my hamstrings were revolting against me. i was the only one who didn't try the backbend. and i had no shame. i wasn't scared. i was born to look silly like this. i happened to like offering a spectacle for all to look at. the other people in the class were slightly entertained. 

it reminded me of when i was forced to take a ballet class in college. mandatory attire: leotard. i'm not kidding. it was humiliating. i almost failed.

so then, just when i thought it couldn't get any worse, the instructor started singing along with the music. i've had instructors do this before, but typically only one word would slip out and usually they were on  key. not this gal. nope. couldn't carry a tune in a coach purse with a hypoallergenic dog in it. and she was singing and didn't stop. then on the 3rd song she actually tried harmonizing with the track. she knew no shame. i realized we weren't that different. there i was trying to be a yoga expert and there she was trying to sing. it was a perfect picture of how fun it is to try new things. but it was painful to listen to. and needless to say, i'm sure i was painful to look at. she's probably blogging about me right now. who knows!

but it was a blast. well, by that i mean, the "blast" part was when i got home and threw my brand new yoga mat in the trash can. good thing trash day is tomorrow. 

yoga = not fun for me

but i just might persevere because i know flexibility is important. and i still love the idea of being a yoga girl. here's to you, background vocal singing yoga instructor! maybe i'll come back to your class. also, i might just hire you to sing bgv's for me. only if you let me shadow your class someday. it could be a match made in heaven.

nursing home conundrums

so there i was sitting at my computer when i received a fairly humbling email.

but you need the background info before i start on my tirade. 

one of my best friends in the entire world is my granny who lives in lubbock. granny has alzheimers but is the happiest and sweetest most divinely proper woman i've ever known. i rarely get to see her because lubbock is so far away and i travel alot. but i think about her often and love her dearly. though granny doesn't remember much, she always remembers my music. she loves listening to the tapes that my granddad herbie has made her from my cds. i always thought about how awesome it would be if someone would visit her and just sing to her. she loves when people sing to her. 

then i took that thought a step further, hmm... i bet there are plenty of sweet old ladies here in austin who might enjoy a song or two. and then in church one day i heard a verse from james that says something along the lines of pure and undefiled worship being this: visiting orphans and widows in their time of need. and, since i'm a worship leader, this was an extremely challenging verse/thought.

all this to say, i started calling around some assisted livings and nursing homes in austin to see about singing there once ever so often. i struck out alot but then i found a place that wanted me to come and sing for an hour during "special music time" at the nursing home.

it was perfect. these people were so endearing. some were bitter and mean, but most were pleasant and reminded me of granny. i was able to live vicariously through loving these people. it satisfied my desire to love on granny when i can't because i live so far away.

then two things happened that are hilarious now, but at the time very humbling.

i got an email from the guy in charge of the nursing home booking, if you will, and he fired me. yep, i got fired from a voluntary nursing home singing gig. honestly, who has been fired from a nursing home? i haven't heard of such a thing. it wounded the good ol' pride, but then i figured it was good for me. but ouch. fired from volunteer nursing home singing. say goodbye to "singing the hits and hymns with lindsey" afternoon once a month. it was over. i was sad. when i asked why, why was i cut from the roster, so to speak, they answered me with this ironic statement: "The residents couldn't hear you." i don't know if that makes anyone else smirk or not, but i found it hilarious that i got fired because they couldn't hear me. did i mention that i brought an amp and microphone? i had amplification, yet i still could not be heard. thus, i was told they wouldn't be needing me anymore. double ouch. my question though: if they can't hear me, who can they hear? oh well. suffice it to say that maybe if i looked really sweet like the red head in the photo above, i might not have been kicked off the island. 

and then two weeks later, i was asked to sing at another nursing home in town, and on the day of that event, i called them to make sure everything was in order and they said, "Oh sorry, we forgot to tell you but we won't be needing you today. We double booked with Larry the piano puppet guy. We'll call you."

they never called. really? really? i got knocked out by piano puppet man? 

thrice ouch. larry, i wish you the best of luck.

gee wiz, good thing i've got other gigs that keep me afloat, otherwise i would be toast. so i've basically struck out of most opportunities to love on the elderly through my singing abilities. but, lo and behold, there is one assisted living place in austin that i get to sing at once a month. and it's definitely one of the highlights of my month. these people are so adorable and cute, and last week, they actually applauded as i walked in the cafeteria. i think i'm making head way. 

if you're reading this, you should totally just go visit a nursing home/assisted living place close to you. just go in and talk to people or better yet, listen to them. they're inspiring and fascinating people who have lived real lives. 

the following blog was sponsored by AARP copyright 2008.

just kidding. 

tag fetish

this is going to be completely random and probably extremely non-applicable to your life, but because i joined the blog world, i have to blog about what i'm thinking, however random and potentially uninteresting it might be. having said that, here's what i've been thinking.

so there i was last night at a concert and i was completely distracted by a lady two rows in front of me who was doing something, unbeknownst to her, that was completely stressing me out. i know it's probably no big deal to the rest of the world, but to me, it's always been an issue.

the tag was sticking out of her shirt.

oh big deal! you might say. and i know, it's silly. kinda like the metal on metal thing. but i have this obsessive compulsive desire to go and put the tag back into the shirt, though she's clearly a stranger and would think i was nuts.

can anyone else relate? 

and then i was sitting there wondering, will someone please put the woman's tag back in her shirt. and then i though, what if i did? what would her response be? what would my response be if someone did that. i would probably say thank you.

so, yes, i've always had a thing for tags. my parents remind me that when i was little, i was obsessed with the tags on stuffed animals. i didn't really even care about the stuffed thing. i wanted the tag. i wonder what it is about a tag that is so appealing to me.

just had to share... i hear it helps to get things out. 

and i was laughing with a friend the other day about how somehow there always seems to be a  spiritual application with strange things that happen to me or go on in my brain, but not this time! nope, no spiritual application here! just another weird quirk.