metal on metal

so there i was walking to my mailbox as i do everyday to check my mail when i'm in town. for some reason, when i put the key in the mailbox, i gagged. i have no idea why i gag, at first. but then it becomes clear when i go into my kitchen later that afternoon to make a salad. i make a salad in a metal bowl. great salad full of wonderful things like lettuce and stuff that doesn't make you full. that's why it's usually a pre-game meal. but for this day, it was a late afternoon snack. so i go to eat the salad with a metal fork and i gag again. i realize that something is terribly wrong. gagging at salads is nothing new. i'm not a huge fan of health foods. but this was a good salad.

so why did i keep gagging? 

welp, i realized something very important about myself. #1 my biggest fear in the world is mayonnaise. please dont use this against me or i will find you and hunt you down. but a new thing, #2 i cannot stand metal on metal. you may not care about this, or maybe you do. but i'm realizing i might as well go ahead and admit the problem. after all, that's the first step. 

so guess what? now that i notice it, it's everywhere. my shower curtain has metal clippee hangee thingees and that slide along a metal rod. PROBLEM. plus, i'm starting to beg complete strangers to check my mail. and i bought a plastic fork to eat my salads with. it's getting out of hand i know. so i'm confessing this to the blog world in hopes of getting my story heard. metal on metal is a serious issue! disclaimer - please always look for sarcasm in my blogs, because it happens to be a spiritual gift of mine.

so now i'm trying to be proactive and force myself to check my own mail. i'm getting good at it. i still gag,  but i'm checking it, and that's a good first step. so now i'm trying to find ways to creatively get over my metal issues. any suggestions? good thing i never chewed on metal pipes when i had braces. 

so where does this leave us? afraid of metal, mayonnaise, and scared. very scared. what if everything becomes metal one day? what if metal is the new internet? the new cool? metal is the new fleece, someone said the other day. scary stuff people. scary stuff. so beware... and if anyone out there is applying for a job to check mail for people who dont like metal keys in metal mailboxes, let me know. 

the good thing about this weird quirk of mine: it reminds me of the good ol' friendship verse in proverbs that says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." So now instead of freaking out about metal on metal, i'm going to think about how awesome it is that God has put fantastic people in my life to sharpen me and make me look more like Jesus :) or also, we have those occasional friends who make us gag (let's be real), but they are in our lives for a reason as well! they are what some might call sand-paper friends, and they help in sawing off our rough edges, creating patience and gentleness and love within us! 

I finally caved in...

so there i was today having coffee with a good friend of mine, vicki courtney. an hour later she had convinced me to take on the internet sport of blogging. at first, i was hesitant because i thought "who on earth would want to read what i have to say?" and then i was sold. too many hilarious, random, and awkward things happen to me to keep them to myself. thus, the birth of my blog which will be entitled "so there i was..." because this is how all good stories start anyway. 

first blog entry, i have decided to dedicate to my dog, gabby. most people blog about their kids and since i'm without child for the moment (and many future moments), i will blog about my pup. who we will refer to from here on out as the gabster. 

so there i was singing at a nursing home in austin... i try and hang out with nursing home peeps on as much of a weekly basis as possible. i started doing this because i realized that pure and undefiled worship is caring/visiting orphans and widows. so if i'm a worship leader, i should probably tap into this. so i go and hang out with the predominantly widowed residents at the nursing homes. i sing for an hour and its a bunch of fun. at first none of them could hear me so of course i started bringing amplification. now some of them think its too loud, but ya just can't please everyone. so i do my best. 

but one day i was encouraged by the director to bring the gabster. i was told she could hang out in the patio area where no residents would be. so i stuck her out there with her favorite toys and some water, like every good dog mom does. 

little did i know, but one of the residents who we will call herbert, decided to venture out onto the patio. unbeknownst to him, gabby was waiting with bated breath for a new friend. herbert strolled out there accompanied by his walker hoping to enjoy a quiet afternoon alone with the trees. what he didn't know is that his walker would be gabby's new obsession.

what is on the bottom of walkers? yes, two bright shiny and new tennis balls. chaos ensued. gabby decided that those would be her new toys. she mischievously runs up to herbert and steals the tennis balls off his walker. must i say that herbert was definitely off his rocker, so to speak, at this point due to the anger? 

so herbert is freaking out trying to chase my dog down, but he can't "chase" because the walker doesn't move without the tennis balls. so he runs in place and gabby runs all over the patio so proud of her new accomplishment. he yells at her over and over again calling gabby an assortment of names she hasn't heard often. she could not be stopped, however. thankfully some of the staff came outside to wrangle in the prodigal puppy. the balls were recovered and given back to their rightful, yet perturbed owner. 

spiritual application: at this point, you are just supposed to hopefully get a laugh out of this. the spiritual application may come later or it may not. disclaimer: not all blogs will have specific spiritual undertones. after all, everything is spiritual right? but suffice it to say that herbert is no worse for the wear, gabby is a happy puppy, and i'm an embarrassed yet blogful mother.