the tale of two devotionals

so there i was thinking of randomness and my thoughts turned into these two devotionals:

NEVER THE SAME AGAIN

One of the hardest things for me in my Christian life is when I feel and act like I used to before I became a Christ-follower. Sure, I have Jesus living inside me, but sometimes I still act like a complete moron. I worry about things I cant control, I fear things that shouldn’t have a hold over me, and I let my flesh run wild. I was hoping that once I asked Jesus to come into my life and be my Savior and Lord that I would automatically start acting like Him. But for those of you reading this who have been a Christian for longer than 2 seconds – you know it’s not quite that easy. One night in college I had reached the end of my proverbial rope. I was completely wrought with anxiety and fear. It was as if I couldn’t make myself surrender to the Lord. That was mostly because I couldn’t even find Him or hear Him in my small, dark dorm room. Instead of wallowing in self-pity as is my usual custom, I decided to write down my endless thoughts. I grabbed a sheet of paper and started writing furiously. My pen couldn’t keep up. All the sudden my head started lifting. My heart started beating a little smoother. I was able to finally catch my breath. In that moment, as I was writing and trying to get it all out, I felt Christ embrace me. I sat there dumbfounded, simply letting Him hold and love me. I didn’t want to leave. I picked up my guitar and started singing the words I had written down. I realized I had been changed after spending those few moments with my Prince of Peace. I felt totally different. Though I still had my flesh and my tendency to worry, I knew I had been transformed in that moment. I would never be the same again. I realized He hadn’t just performed a one-time change when I gave my life to Him, but He continues to change me daily as I meet with Him. Each day is new and each day I have the opportunity to allow Christ to make the old new.

WHERE IS THE LOVE?

I’ve noticed a trend recently: people are having love issues. About a month ago I was on a long flight and found myself thinking about love. Not the kind that makes me want a boyfriend, but the kind that makes me want Jesus. Suddenly I was flooded with thoughts of God, others, myself, and the mysterious idea of love. What is love? Where is it? Who is it? Why do people love? Why don’t they? Jesus quickly began answering my questions. We’ve heard it said that God is Love. He can’t help but love us. He can’t not love. His love doesn’t change based on what we do or don’t do. His love is not dependent on our performance. He just loves. That’s His nature and it’s more natural to Him than breathing is to us. Then I started thinking about why some Christians have love issues. That thought led me to this one: Why do certain people have problems with Christians, but rarely do they say anything negative about Jesus? I guess it’s because sometimes Christians fail to love. I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when I simply do not love others. We need to get back to that good ole’ saying of “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.” But before we can love others, we must first love ourselves. After all, it was Jesus who gave us the idea of loving others as we love ourselves. Then and only then can we love another human being. The problem is, there are many people who don’t love themselves and for whatever reason, they never have. The conclusion to my thinking was this: our ability to love others rests in our ability to love ourselves. Our ability to love ourselves rests in our ability to receive God’s unconditional love. It seems that it really is all about receiving the love of God. We, as Christ-followers must start loving others without condition and without an agenda. Let’s love for the sake of being like God who is, in His very nature, Love. For the love of God, receive it! Without love, we have nothing and we are nothing.